The other day Oliver was studying the back page of one of his Lego kit instruction booklets – the page where they tell you about all the other kits that you really wish you had – the page that instantly makes you feel discontent with the lovely ship you just completed assembling and should be busy playing with. That page.
He was going on about which one he wants next and which ships come with which guys and I reminded him that not only did he just get quite a few great new Lego kits for Christmas, but those bad boys aren’t cheap and if he wants to keep collecting them, he’s going to need to get a job to support his habit.
And then I said it. Just one fleeting puff of air – an almost empty promise that, in a moment of exhausted parenting escaped my lips: If you potty train Hazel, I’ll buy you whatever Star Wars ship you want to get next.
In his defense, I did say it. And I am always saying how we need to be people of our word. And to be honest, if I were going to sub-contract out one part of parenting, potty training would be it! And if it was only going to cost me $40, I was willing to play along.
Of course, he jumped on this one sentence like it was his golden ticket into ultimate Lego Star Wars bliss. I should have known. He wanted details – parameters. He wanted to nail me down then and there while there were witnesses in the room. Did I mean it? What did he have to do? When could he start? And before I could tell him that we wouldn’t start today, he had already left and returned with her little pink and white potty chair, ready to get going.
That was Wednesday evening. I told him it would have to wait until he had a full day to commit to it.
Thursday morning he work up ready to roll again (this child does not quickly forget!), but it was a school day and so I put him off another day.
Friday came. At the breakfast table he asked if today could be the day he potty trained Hazel. I didn’t really have much else on my plate for the day, and Ryan was around for backup in case things got too crazy, so I agreed. He started asking questions about what I did to potty train him, then he started working on Hazel – getting her pumped up for the day.
(The problem with this is that right now, when you ask Hazel a question, she always says, “no.” No matter what the question is. So every time he asked her if she wanted to learn to go potty in her potty chair today, she would answer, “no.”. Oliver got smart quickly on this one and started wording his questions in his favor: “Hazel, do you like how it feels to have potty in your diaper?” “No.” “Hazel, do you want to go poopy in your pants for the rest of your life?” “No.” “Do you want to skip potty training today?” “No.” All fixed.)
So, they set to work. I haven’t worked with Hazel on this but once since she started showing signs of readiness and I ordered her chair, just because I haven’t been ready to focus on it. She’s only 21 months old, so it’s not a big rush for me. So, I intentionally left them to it and tried to uninvolve myself as much as possible. I helped her get her diaper off and rolled up the rug in the living room, but apart from that, I sort of just left them to it.
The rules were:
1. Potty train her for good = you get a big Lego Star Wars kit
2. Get her to go potty in the potty chair twice in one day (she’d never done it before) = you get a small Lego Star Wars kit
3. And each accident she has cancels out a successful potty.
If we’re going to outsource our parenting to our children, ground rules are a good idea.
And seriously, y’all? I was really impressed. I have never seen Oliver more vigilant. I don’t think Hazel quite got what was going on, but he told her to sit on her little white donut and kept her salty snack bowl filled with treats and offered to refill her apple juice like a waiter at an expensive restaurant. He waited on her hand and foot and she loved the attention. Nevermind that his attentiveness was really more for the love of Star Wars than anything else, but he really did show her a good time!
Here they are after thirty minutes of intense training – they decided to take some pressure off and watch some Dragon Tails until the apple juice did its thing.
And, before we knew it, we had our very first potty training success! I’m honestly not sure who of us was more thrilled – though I’m leaning toward Oliver for obvious reasons.
After that first success he started to get panicky though. He wanted her to go again right away and she was tiring of all the pressure. He wanted her to stay seated just in case, and her little bottom was tiring of sitting for so long. And of course, he was terrified that she would have an accident and undo all his hard work.
So, I put a diaper on her for everyone’s sake (Ryan and I both needed a break from what was quickly turning into an obsession in our living room). I ran out to do a few errands in the meantime and when I returned, this is how I found Hazel and the potty chair. She thinks she’s hilarious.
So do we.
We took another go at it that afternoon. The good news is that Hazel did NOT have any accidents, and that she DID have a successful *ahem* yucky moment in the potty. Go team! And of course, the exhausting news is that as soon as she went Oliver – predictably – wanted me to seal her back up into a diaper and shake hands and head to the store right then and there. He’d done what he came to do. That boy.
I made good on my promise the next day when I took him on a date to Target to pick a mini kit as a reward for his hard work.
And who learned a lesson in all of this? Did Hazel really learn anything about potty training? Did Oliver really learn anything about helping and teaching and encouraging? Maybe. But most of all, I learned to keep my big mouth shut when it comes to making promises related to Legos and Star Wars. That wonderful son of mine knows what he likes and is willing to do what he needs to do to get it.
Already talking with God about what a special child Oliver is and how He will use these passions to further The Kingdom…
(and in the meantime, I’ll let you know if he ever actually earns the BIG kit!) :)
Happy Sabbath, friends!
**updated for Oliver to show off his Imperial Starfighter**
Raechel, you made my day reading this story. You are so blessed to have such a drive built into Oliver. At least you know when he wants something bad enough he is willing to whatever it takes. I pray the rest of your potty training with Hazel goes great.
That is so sweet! I have a little boy who would do almost anything for more Lego Star Wars too. I hope the potty training goes well and I will have think about this when it is time for my 3rd to learn how to use the potty :)
This is great! I love it! Baby steps in way of potty training are huge!
Oliver is VERY special!! What a wonderful privilege to be his grandma and learn from him about life!! Love him!!
This is great! My oldest niece actually potty trained her sister because their parents said they would take them to Sesame Place if she did. And it totally worked. Big sister sat with her and read her books and got her potty trained. haha! Sometimes sibling motivation is all it takes! ;)
What a smart little cookie you’ve got! Those kids know a good deal when they see it! I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut when I scheme up little plans like that in my head because I know from my own experience that they will hold me to it EVERY TIME! Kids are way smarter than we know!
Soooo…which kit did he pick???
(Rae, he looks so TALL in that picture. Geez.)
Stine – I think it’s the Imperial Starfighter (which I later realized is from the ‘Extended Universe’… ah well)
And yes, TALL!!
Okay, he totally deserves the kit. Potty-training is the least favorite parenting thing of mine, too. It’s a terrible reason, I know, but it is just so inconvenient because we are out of the house quite a bit, so dragging a bunch of kids into the bathroom every 5 minutes is not my idea of a good time. I think you might be on to something with this whole outsourcing dealio……
Maybe Oliver & my cousin can work out a lego trade. He’s older, and can put together legos like crazy, but the amount of legos we buy every year is out of control.
Oh my gosh, I love everything about this story. Haha so proud of Oliver and Hazel! We are just now entering the stage of life where Sam remembers things we say–so little things like “You can have it after your nap” suddenly mean everything and he certainly won’t forget :) Fun times are ahead!
Well, I think you should really get on this potty training thing with her as this might really confuse her and lead her into more accidents once you finally decide to potty train. I would set a timer and take her every 30 min. for the first day and by the 3rd she will most likely be potty trained! One day of exhausting, cheer worthiness is so much better then dragging it out. Once you go to panties, don’t go back to diapers (except for at night). :)
that was hilarious. I think you came out ahead on it- little sister got big-brother-approval and attention for a VERY important developmental task! Worth it! Totally!