Have you ever had a week (or a day or an hour) ahead of you that feels so overwhelming, so busy and insurmountable that you honestly aren’t sure how you will make it through? The sheer volume of things expected of you – outside of your underlying duties as a wife, mother and home keeper – make you want to crumble to the floor and weep?
Okay, maybe that’s a little melodramatic, but seriously, this is how I felt Sunday evening as I crawled into my bed, opened up my computer and looked at the week ahead on my calendar. Like crumbling.
Now, I’ll say: it’s my own fault. I’m a “yes” girl. I’m a doer to my own detriment. I’m pretty sure I can do anything and everything if I just drink a little more coffee and stay up a little bit later.
This, my husband and those closest to me have learned, is not the case. Meltdowns are inevitable and they know it. I, however, am yet to learn and take to heart this truth. And so, I take on the world and pay for it later.
I won’t bore you with my ridiculous list of commitments and tasks that await me this week, but I will tell you that last night, staring at my iCal holding back tears, I thanked God. Not because of all the neat and exciting opportunities he has given me (though He and I have certainly discussed those as well), but because for the first time in too long, I seriously found myself unable to do it on my own.
I wanted to cry, but I didn’t. I wanted to turn over to Ryan and bemoan to him how exhausted I was just looking at the week ahead (more often than I’d like to admit, I turn to my husband before I turn to my Lord). Instead, I closed my eyes. And I thanked my Father for bringing me to a place I’ve needed to be all along – unable to do it on my own.
“Father,” I began, “I can’t do it. It’s too much. I need you.”
And with those words, that surrender, I felt that peace that passes understanding – the kind we read about in His word.
And instead of whining to Ryan an hour later as we snacked on a little chips and salsa in the kitchen (what? you don’t eat 4th meal at your house after the kids go to bed??), I told him with confidence (and without tears!) that I was exactly where I need to be this week. Helpless and hopeful. And we wondered together why we didn’t start every week that way, with those words:
“I can’t do it. It’s too much. I need you.”
Sweet friends, have a blessed week – ever in need of His grace! Whether you have an over-filled calendar, or you’re at the beach with your family, find yourself in need of your Savior today!
And please, join me and the She Reads Truth community tomorrow as we begin a brand new reading plan!
m’boo, you are NOT alone. in the despair, in the forgetting to turn to jesus (doy!), in the 4th meal. i really want to encourage you about how your YES’s have been blessing so many others seeking HIM. i know that even in chasing him, there are details and administrivia and headaches and, crap do they run us down. and it’s so hard. and he WILL provide the grace to carry you. but i say well-done, servant of our King, this is a fight worth fighting and a “yes” worth over-committing for (until he calls you elsewhere). i love you buckets and bushels.
thank you for being real.
Love this. God is using you in a mighty way :) and you are exactly where He wants you!
I love your sweet kiddo posts, and I love your recipe posts, and your DIY posts and the picture posts–but these posts, the ones straight from your heart…they’re always my favorites. Love you! Prayers for this week.
Raechel, this is exactly what I needed today. As I am completely overwhelmed with school, I just need to go to the Father and tell Him how I can’t do anything without Him and how much I need Him!
Um, yes. That is the month ahead of me!! Feeling so overwhelmed, but I know just what I need to do. :) Thanks for this post. LOVE God’s timing, always on time!
Wonderful post! Thanks for sharing from your heart :-).
Not even kidding about the fact that our dear Lord sent me over to your blog tonight to be reminded that my week’s (seemingly) daunting to-do list will get accomplished through His strength at work in me. Thank you for reminding be of this truth through your example! I still might take that coffee though…. ;)
I typically thrive on being “busy”, I love lists and having things to do but I’ve totally been there! That breaking point where you’re pretty sure your head might explode! There’s something SO amazing about just handing it all over to Him and watching the pieces fall into place. Praying for you today for rest, peace and for everything to fall into place!
too often, we turn to our sweet Lord as a last resort when He is to be our FIRST line of defense! He is there for us and He desires for us to rely on Him fully in all things!
love how God is teaching you – He is so good!
Way off topic, but I notice your bible in some of your photos and I am looking into getting a new one…what kind do you have? I have a very basic one and was looking for a more in depth one.
I have the Reformation Study Bible – it’s ESV, and of course, I love it! :)
this was spot on…like you had overheard my convo with my husband earlier in the day. i always read your blog and this is one of the many reasons why. though we’ve never met, you seem to be a kindred spirit…thanks for being raw and real