tips, please: the follow-up

Posted by & filed under Being an Adult.

Wow! What an interesting and varied response to my “Tips, please!” post yesterday! We even heard from a few hair stylists – one who said you really shouldn’t tip a percentage of the bill, but based on how regularly you come (tip less if you come every four weeks and more if you come quarterly).

One commenter suggested that you should tip a flat rate based on the amount of time you spend in the chair instead of the final bill amount asking, “Why tip higher just because what the person using costs more?” (She suggested tipping $5/hour, but I think that would have to vary a bit depending on the salon/part of the country). If a cut and a partial highlight both take 45 minutes, why pay more for one than the other? (She compared this to her waitressing experience: It’s annoying when they get a $2 tip for a couple who takes up a table for an hour splitting one dessert and sipping coffee, and she tips flat rate at restaurants too – $10/hour.)

Another commenter (and this blew my mind!) said she’s in LA and her cut and highlight is $300 and it’s actually cheaper for her to just fly home to Chicago for the weekend for a free cut/color at her Mom’s spa/salon.

One common question I saw was: What if your stylist is the owner of the salon? Most people said that salon owners customarily will not accept tips (like y’all said, because they are getting the entire fee, and often charge a premium for the premium talent).

I talked to our family friend (Dave) this morning who is the one-man show (rents the space/does all the cuts) at Dave’s Barber Shop in the Factory at Franklin. He said and his wife were marveling just the other day at God’s goodness that a barber can support a family of seven (with two more on the way from Africa!). They have relied on God to give him the number of customers He wants for him for the day and He is faithful. He says it’s about 50/50 with good/bad tippers, but in situations where the owner/renter doesn’t also have employees, tips are a big help.

Several out-of-the-US folks said that in their countries, tipping is unheard of – or at least not expected. Australia, New Zealand & Japan all seemed to feel like it was a bad system that maybe needed to be reevaluated. Tipping is good because it drives service professionals to courtesy and good work, but it’s tough for a price to only be the starting price before tax and tip.

Lots of other people in other service-industries (horseshoe-ing, construction, government work) said they wished they were received tips for their services and wondered what makes some services tip-able and others, not.

And other people (me included!) hate it that you feel like you have to tip (sometimes before the service is performed!) for things like moving crews, just to ensure that they are careful with your things.

One commenter (#77 – who I now have a slight crush on because she cracked me up!) said near the end of her comment, “And then all the even more random things, those anxiety-inducing holiday tip cheat sheets. Doorman tips (I thank my stars, every year, that I can’t afford a doorman building, because I almost certainly couldn’t afford to tip all the various doormen every year on top of also paying their salaries). Garbage collector tips (how do you even accomplish that? Leave money in the trash!? Seriously, I want to know!). Honestly if I ever buy a farm and just go completely self-sufficient and off-the-grid, it won’t be for financial or environmental or anti-social reasons. It will be so that I never have to think about tipping again.

I noticed a lot of people say they go to in-home stylists (friends who maybe used to work in a salon before they had kids) and don’t tip because all of the money goes straight to them. I can’t help but ask, because I was once rebuked for going to a friend where I live – is it or isn’t it illegal for a person to receive payment for hair cutting services in their home? Is it a state-by-state thing?

And then of course, we can’t help but point out the obvious food service issue: it’s not fair to cut your waiter’s tip because the food was bad – totally not their fault.

And tip jars at places like Starbucks and Chipotle – that seems to make people feel awkward (when they’re already paying nearly $5 for a latte) to still walk away feeling like a cheap skate for not “tossing in a bonus”. Baristas: can you explain  how this works and if/how much y’all are counting on it? 

But what about take-out? I know some of you said you tip 20% even on take-out. Am I alone here in that I almost never tip when I pick up take-out? I have to clean up my table and wash my dishes – isn’t tipping for wait-service??

Someone said that they always tip their grocery baggers because they get 100% of their pay from tips(!). This is a totally new thing to me and must be a regional thing. We have great, friendly baggers at the grocery stores in our town who are always eager to push our cart out to the car for us and load our groceries in the trunk for us. But (and I’m pretty sure I’m okay on this one) I do not tip them – they wear little pins on their aprons that say “no tips, please!”.

I also definitely found that nearly anyone who has ever made their living from tips (even for a short season) is generally a better, more generous tipper than if you’ve never depended on gratuity. This is the case with my husband, but (and he is going to KILL me for this) I have to throw Ryan under the bus here and tell you about a low-point tipping moment in college that he is NOT proud of, but it happened so I get to tell. It’s his penance.

And keep in mind, Ryan worked as a waiter at a steakhouse in college for a year after this, so he knows now about serving difficult people.

(Oh, he’s going to kill me!) Okay, Ryan’s worst tipping moment: he had awful service from a rude, put-out waitress (still not an excuse, but it frames the story) and left a terrible tip (I’m guessing $.25 or less – shame!) under an upside-down cup, filled with water. (I guess you put the money in the full-of-water cup, cover it with a coaster, turn it upside down and slide the coaster out so it seals onto the table.) Yes, you can all judge him for that. And yes, that’s the man I chose to marry. But, may I point out – dude’s come a long way! He is a super generous tipper (takes after his Daddy) and feels terrible about being a punk kid.

Keep the feedback coming, y’all! I’m learning! Would love to hear about in-home-cut laws and take-out and tipping salon owners! And, any of you that has ever waited on a guy like young Ryan, feel free to give him what-for here!

 

**also, I just remembered that I wanted to add: at my salon I did recently learn that, when they ask you how much you want to add for gratuity, you can request a cash envelope. I try to remember to bring cash with me for this now (clearly not enough, though!), and it’s a nice place to write a little note on the outside with a word of thanks, too.

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48 Responses

  1. Rebecca 26 March 2012 at 2:58 pm

    I go to an in-home hair stylist. Her husband built a haircutting studio for her in their home. She keeps track of all her income and expenses and puts it on her taxes as self-employment, so it’s totally legitimate to go to her. I still tip her because she does an amazing job and charges half of what our local salons do.

    As for tipping take out food, I would NEVER tip them – all they do is hand me the order from the kitchen at the cash register.

    Reply
  2. Katie 26 March 2012 at 3:04 pm

    I worked at a grocery store for a while in high school, and we were well-known in the area for the service our baggers provided (hauling to cars, helping double-bag, etc.). They were paid by the hour – not dependent 100% on tips. That’s crazy! I have never heard of that.

    I also waited tables when I was younger – for about 6 years. It has definitely made me a better tipper BUT it has also made me expect more in service. I know that a customer shouldn’t sit and wait for drinks for too long, their plates should be carried away when empty, etc.

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  3. Stephanie 26 March 2012 at 3:06 pm

    I’d like to know what you tip the pizza delivery person. The pizza place we use has a delivery fee—does the driver get that? I try to be very generous but I don’t want to over-do either.

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      • Jessica 26 March 2012 at 3:51 pm

        From the people I’ve talked to who have worked as pizza delivery drivers and from what our pizza place says on their online site – the delivery fee does not go to the driver. I typically tip about 10-15% to the driver, it really depends on who it is (there is one lady that delivers pizzas who is about the same age as my grandmother so I typically give her more b/c I know she works hard). Most of the time though I end up going to get our pizza b/c they give better deals for pick-ups.

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    • Liz 26 March 2012 at 5:23 pm

      The pizza delivery place I use says very specifically that the driver does not get the delivery fee. I guess the company uses it for gas, etc. So I always tip above that.

      Reply
  4. Abby Aupp 26 March 2012 at 3:23 pm

    In my house, we do not tip on to-go orders. If I have to drive to pick up the food, clean up the mess of plates, silverware, etc at my own home then I’m not going to tip. Since a waiter/waitress was not there to “serve” me, I don’t feel that any tip is needed.
    My husband and I both usually tip 20% on food bills. However, my husband leaves a 20% tip no matter how bad of service we have at any restaurant. He’s a sweetie but sometimes, after we’ve had really, really slow or really, really bad service, it irritates me to watch him throw down extra money on a bill when I don’t think it was deserved…and I was the waitress in high school and he’s never been a waiter before.
    We both also tip 20% on hair cuts as well as massages when we have them. About 3 years ago, when I had my first massage ever, I asked a friend that works in a spa what the appropriate amount to tip on a massage was and she said 15-20%, just like in a restaurant so I’ve stuck with that. Luckily my haircuts only cost $30 in Central Illinois so a $5 puts me in the 15-20% bracket. However, that is for a wash & haircut only…I have to blow dry and style it on my own after the cut (or go home with a wet head).

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  5. Ashley Ward 26 March 2012 at 3:33 pm

    I’m a barista at Sbux, and we are very very thankful for our tips. Our rate of pay is lower than most competitive businesses (for example, someone starting in a similar position at Whole Foods makes TWO DOLLARS more per hour than we do.) We also do a lot of work that people don’t seem to realize–I pick up cigarette butts out of sidewalk cracks with my bare hands, we clean up tables after moms let their kids go tazmanian devil with scones, and, I am not even joking, someone POOPED ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR last week. Those are the days I feel like I deserve my tips :D I think for us, tips are what make us get through the days of being treated poorly by people, which happens a lot. If you are a regular, friendly customer, I think it’s nice to throw something in the jar every now and then, but not something you need to do every day. I think one of the things that we complain about too is that we have customers who spend nearly $70 a week in our store, aren’t kind to us, and never leave a tip. That gets frustrating. But, we definitely do not depend on a tip the way a server does. And at the end of the day, I’d rather someone be patient and kind than throw a dollar in the cup. I am quite sure you’re a pleasure to serve there, so I wouldn’t worry about the tips there too much :)

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    • Raechel Myers 26 March 2012 at 5:14 pm

      Thanks, Ash! I was hoping to hear from you on this one! I knew you’d have a good perspective. Grateful for the baristas that clean up after my messy muffin-eating kids for sure!

      Hug your barista today! Or, you know, at least be very kind and grateful to them! :)

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  6. Leslie 26 March 2012 at 3:35 pm

    Here is what I wonder too – what makes a certain service tip-able? And then, where does it stop? In general, I tip a higher percentage on a smaller bill because I have the money to do so. On a bigger bill, I can’t tip as high of a percentage. And, yes, I know it’s not the waiter’s fault that one night I wanted surf & turf and one night I just wanted a house salad.

    I tip my hairdresser for my cut, about 15%, sometimes I just round out the bill. I can’t imagine doing more than that.

    I don’t tip a friendly salesperson at the GAP that brought me new sizes in the dressing room and also has to clean up other people’s messes. And they are on their feet all day.

    Do you tip your a/c repair guy? Or the person that installs your new satellite? I generally just offer drinks and snacks. A friend of mine always tips these people. Since I would have no idea where to start anyway, I would rather be ignorant than rude by offering an inappropriate amount.

    This topic is really frustrating for me. There are PLENTY of jobs that are under-paid, service-oriented, and yet you are not expected to tip those people.

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  7. Sarah 26 March 2012 at 3:41 pm

    As far as take out goes, those people depend on tips just like waiters. They go and get all the different components of your order and put them in containers and they make sure you have everything you need. A lot of people think the cooks do all of the food preparation but waiters and people doing take out do a lot of stuff to. The cooks aren’t the ones who plate food and put the finishing touches on everything. That’s what waiters and take out people do. Plus they aren’t paid a living wage.

    Our family pretty much lives off of tips, so we feel it is always better to tip generously. I have bad days at my job and I still get paid the same amount. If my husband has a bad day or someone else makes a mistake that affects him, we don’t make as much money.

    Also as a Christian, we feel that we should give as generously as we have been given to. Tipping is a part of that.

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      • Mindy 27 March 2012 at 11:45 am

        when i used to work in a restaurant and would take a “take out order” i had to ring the bill under my server number thus adding it to my total that i sold for the day thus having to pay taxes on the tips on a percentage that government thinks i should make. i can understand that if you had bad service that you may not want to tip as much, but if you do have good service please try to tip accordingly as servers have to claim a certain percentage of their tips whether they make them or not ( at least in washington state they do. not sure how the laws work in other states )

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        • Becky C 27 March 2012 at 12:01 pm

          That’s good info to have! Thanks for sharing! I also know that at a national chain restaurant here in KS, all the waitstaff has to pool their tips and split them evenly at the end of the shift! That hardly seems fair to me! I know there are some that bust their heiny’s to make sure you’re taken care of and others who don’t care one bit about their jobs/customers and are just there to collect a paycheck!:(

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  8. Jessica 26 March 2012 at 3:54 pm

    As far as tipping baggers at the grocery store I can tell you that after working as a cashier/bagger in a national chain we are not allowed to accept tips since carrying out your groceries is our job – so you are right on the money on that one.

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  9. Becky C 26 March 2012 at 4:06 pm

    Now I’m wondering about the people who bring your food out to your car…like “Carside To Go” at Applebees! I always tip the carhop at Sonic $1…no matter how much I’ve ordered…it takes her the exact same amount of time to come to me, so I give $1 and they always seem happy about it! However, the car-side person is doing the same thing and I’ve never thought to tip them! It’s a service I’m willing to tip for, so I don’t have to get out of my car in my pj’s and slippers with my pony-tailed, unwashed-for-the-day, hair! Now I feel bad! :(

    And as far as our grocery store baggers…they always offer to take my grocerys out, but I always refuse and do it myself. At our store (Dillons/Kroger)…they are not allowed to accept tips and will be reprimanded if they do! I asked why they are always so eager to take our carts out when they know they won’t get a tip…they told me that 1. It keeps them busy, so they don’t get sent home early…therefore, losing money. 2. So they can bring a few carts in with them each time instead of having to bring in dozens. 3. So they can cut down on the number of carts that are left in the middle of, or roll clear across, the parking lot by people too *AHEM* lazy to put them in a cart corral!;)

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  10. Malissa 26 March 2012 at 4:23 pm

    I was a server at TGIFridays (during the days of flair, mind you) and we did not have a designated take-out server every night. It was kind of just whoever happened to be closest to the phone at the time. What people don’t often think about is that at some restaurants servers have to “tip out” to their support staff like the bus boys or service bar tenders. This means they’re giving them a percentage of their SALES over the night from their tips (its been a while but I think it was like 1.5% of your sales). So, if the server takes a to-go order and the person doesn’t tip, it actually costs the server money. Now, I have noticed that some restaurants have dedicated to-go servers, like Outback, for instance, so their arrangement could be different, but this was my experience.

    To further confuse things…at places like Starbucks or Sonic the staff makes at least minimum wage, servers here in OK make a servers wage which is around $3/hour. Why should the person who simply rolls out to my car with a cheese burger or takes my drink order from behind a register get a tip when they are already making a better wage than my server? The server will spend much more time and put forth way more effort (hopefully :) ). Yes, the car hop is getting less but $.40 on a $2 drink is still 20% on top of an already higher wage.

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  11. kate foster 26 March 2012 at 4:52 pm

    I don’t tip when I order take out. Sorry, but if I’m going to leave a tip you’ll have to follow me home and then wait on me there. When I leave a tip after eating in a restaurant (and I’m a fairly decent tipper since I used to waitress) it’s because someone has been bringing me food, refilling my drink, and clearing my dishes. When you order take out you get none of that. I don’t leave tips in jars, just because it is my understanding that those people are making an hourly wage. Ocassionally I’ll leave a buck at Starbucks since I’m there every Saturday.

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  12. Anna 26 March 2012 at 5:13 pm

    In reference to being able to do hair cuts, colors, perms, etc out of your home I’m fairly certain that as long as you hold a current license in your state you can do it. I do know that it is illegal to accept money or payment for any cosmetology-related services you do out of your home when your not licensed. I used to do formal up-do’s for some friends and now my nieces for school dances. But I could never actually take payment for it because I’m not licensed. And at the time that I did that I was also a “mandatory reporter” because I was a sheriff’s office employee. So not only couldn’t I accept any payment, I technically would have had to rat myself out if I did and probably could have lost my job.

    Reply
    • Raechel Myers 26 March 2012 at 5:29 pm

      haha – bummer to be a mandatory reporter and have to rat yourself out! I saw another person say that it’s totally legit to do hair out of your home AS LONG AS you report it as income on your taxes (assuming you earn above a certain amount). Learning.

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  13. Liz 26 March 2012 at 5:21 pm

    I was taught 15% for restaurant wait staff, but all the comments for your post seem to take 20% as the standard. I wonder if it’s a regional thing (upper south) or if the 15% is outdated now. I am single and nearly always pay my bill separately from groups, and often 15% is a very low figure (sometimes less than $2.00). So as I general rule, I tip servers 15% or $3.00, whichever is greater. I most cases, this works about to be about 20% anyway. Looks like I’ll need to revise my no-less-than number.

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  14. Deborah Robson 26 March 2012 at 5:37 pm

    It has been so long since I have heard this, I can’t remember. But, I know if you aren’t licensed you can not charge people for hair services in side the home. You can accept tips or whatever they want to pay you. I am not sure about licensed people though. I think there has to be certain guide lines for it to actually be legal though. There are several factors but I think it has to have its own entrance and it’s own bathroom. That is in TN at least. It’s been 10 years since I had to study all that info, so I can’t remember!! I definitely know if you have your own shop connected to your house that follows all those rules you can definitely charge whatever you want.

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  15. Megan 26 March 2012 at 7:05 pm

    As a former Starbucks employee, I relied on tips for all extra-curricular activities. Like a dinner date with my husband or movies… Or even paying for laundry. My paycheck went to bills, gas, the not-so-fun stuff. It’s not like the baristas expect everyone to tip. But it is nice when the order is large, your drink is complicated, or you get something other than just plain coffee. It is a lot of work back there sometimes! And I’m thankful it isn’t my job anymore. :)

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  16. Alexandra 26 March 2012 at 7:41 pm

    Weird Short Regular, the commenter formerly known as #77, here again! I’m blushing! After all these years of creepy lurking, I obviously waited for a VERY important topic to make my commenting debut. But now that you know I’m here, I’ll probably get anxiety and have to leave if you start leaving a tip jar out… ;)

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  17. Kristin 26 March 2012 at 8:16 pm

    My hair lady is awesome and charges 35 for partial/trim so I give her 60. In terms of eating out, someone normally has to bag up your stuff and get it alll ready so I still tip them, just not as much as I would if I ate out. but tipping can be expensive as we all know

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  18. Charlene Austin 26 March 2012 at 8:58 pm

    I tip $3 to the local Thai take out as I know those kids take the orders on the phone and package everything up, ring my debit thru etc. They do a great job even if it’s not a job that takes hours of serving.

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  19. alyssa 26 March 2012 at 9:34 pm

    In IL, you can have an in-home salon and accept money. I used to go to one, as did my grandma. That’s just where they set up shop.

    As for tipping the garbage man, I’d assume you would tape a VERY visible envelope on top of your trash can. We don’t tip ours- they never replace the lid (when it rains) and it often falls over. we also don’t tip our mail lady, although she expects it. She is also my mom and grandparent’s mail lady and last year she left a *reminder* in their mail box for her Christmas bonus!!! A little greedy to me, and we most likely won’t give her a bonus, especially if she ever leaves a note like that for us!

    I don’t tip for take-out either. I do feel a little weird at Sonic, though since they bring your stuff out to you

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  20. KAM 26 March 2012 at 9:44 pm

    I did not even know you were supposed to tip a hairdresser until my best friend became one a couple years ago (so sorry to the guy who used to do my hair). I only go to her now because it is soooo expensive to get your hair cut and colored. She doesn’t charge me, so I usually just bring her a couple cases of diapers and lunch. As far as waiters go, we do a minimum of 15% for bad service and 20+% for good service. I feel like eating out is a luxury and if you can’t afford the tip then you shouldn’t go. Other things like repairmen and such, it is their job so I don’t feel obligated to tip. We always tip baggers because at the military grocery stores they only get paid tips. Tipping is too complicated.

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  21. Sarah H. 26 March 2012 at 10:12 pm

    I probably should have left this on yesterday’s post rather than today’s, but… My aunt and her husband are VERY generous tippers. They pay for pizza delivery with their credit card over the phone, then give a $20-$30 cash tip. When we go to dinner, I have never seen them tip less than 30%… one time in particular they tipped $100 on a $150 ticket. I made a comment to them one time about them being the most generous people I know. (They do lots more than generous tipping!) My aunt said “I want to be as generous with other people as I want God to be with me.” That totally changed my outlook on things! My feeling is that if I cannot afford to leave a minimum of 20% tip when I go out to a restaurant, then I can’t afford to go to that restaurant.

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  22. Ashley 26 March 2012 at 10:15 pm

    I love this discussion that you’ve opened up! I am SO lucky to only have to pay around $75 for a cut & highlight, and my hairdresser is the owner of the salon I go to, nonetheless. I usually tip well (around 20%) even though I know she’s the owner… but seriously, what is that extra 15 bucks going to do but bless her?! I am blessed enough to be able to spare the extra few dollars, and I usually throw out the “rules” and try to just see it as an opportunity to bless others… and I know it’s not really my money anyway. Plus, my SIL used to be a waitress, and ever since she told us her horror stories, Ryan and I try to be generous with our going-out-to-eat tips, especially if the service is truly excellent.

    I worked at a a hotel amusement park over the summers during college, and any tips I received (regardless of the amount) made me feel so appreciated, and renewed my willingness to continue working that job which was exhausting, overwhelming, and discouraging. I guess the simple (perhaps unexpected) recognition of a job well done can mean more than a dollar amount.

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    • Ashley 26 March 2012 at 11:15 pm

      Ok, after thinking about this comment a bit I feel like I sound extremely holier-than-thou. I guess the point I was trying to get across is that my issue in this whole thing is trying to can my selfishness and just be a cheerful giver regardless of the technicalities. Ahhh I still feel like that makes me sound snotty. Hope you know I’m not trying to be. :)

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  23. Jennifer 27 March 2012 at 8:05 am

    This is definitely a very interesting discussion! My instinct is to tip waiters/waitresses generously no matter how my service was, because I think “maybe they are just having a bad day”. My husband however, is a VERY generous man, and tips well, but is much more critical than I am, and tips according to the service he gets. And I think that is the right way to do it.

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  24. Wendy 27 March 2012 at 8:53 am

    In regards to your husband’s tip in his youger years…When I was a server during my college days, I once had a group of younger adults leave me a handful of coins (all pennies and nickels) in an upside down cup. Without thinking about it, I grabbed all of the wet coins, ran out to the parking lot and handed them the change…saying “You left something on the table and I think you need it more than I do”. Their smirky smiles that they had worn on the way out, changed to red faces and stammering. Totally worth it to forego a tip to see their embarrassment. Priceless.

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  25. Alison 27 March 2012 at 10:06 am

    So interesting to see the cultural differences between the US and Europe on the matter of tips. I’m from England but I live in Italy and in neither country do we have such strict rules and percentages on tips, but then our minimum wage rules apply equally to waiters as they do to shop assistants or anyone else. In the UK we generally tip in restaurants but if the service was bad it’s not expected and it’s never 20%!! As for hairdressers, hotels and the rest, I think it’s only the very rich who can afford to do that here. In Italy a cover charge of between 1-2 euro per person is added to the bill in any place you sit down to eat, most people don’t tip in addition to that. My brother is a barrista, and I wrote about a conversation we had about tipping here : http://not-brighton.tumblr.com/post/15305368876/on-coffee-and-tipping

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  26. mamalang 27 March 2012 at 11:54 am

    In defense of baggers that work for tips…the DOD commissary’s do not pay baggers, they work for tips. They were buttons that say so, and they have signs above the doors. They bag your groceries, and carry them out, and load them in your car. I’ve heard of people giving them 2 or 3 bucks for 10-15 bag order. A few years ago, guidance was put out that you should tip $1.00 a bag. I think that is too much, but I do try to maintain at least 50 cents a bag.

    I hate the whole tipping thing. I especially hate that servers are paid less for a host of reasons.

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  27. hannah 27 March 2012 at 2:35 pm

    on tipping baristas…my husband worked at Starbucks for almost 4 yrs while he was in Seminary. We relied on his tips for grocery money. Starbucks doesn’t pay their employees more because they charge more…they just charge more haha. Tips are kind. Because we relied on tips those years…we now tip generously.

    Also as far as the in home cutting thing goes… my friends would never “charge” me… I would just give them a gift. don’t know if this is wrong or not. I know go to a salon (Z Salon and Spa) were I get the “new talent” who is still really good. they give me a hang and scalp massage and blow dry and style my hair at the end. I get a drink while I’m there and a fun spa environment. I pay $25 and they don’t accept tips. I LOVE IT!

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  28. Sarah 27 March 2012 at 3:03 pm

    I used to be a barista in high school. I felt that I deserved my tips more if we were super busy and I was super fast getting drink orders out. If we were dead, I was just happy to have someone come in to give me something to do!

    I also waitressed for a few years (SO glad I’m not doing that anymore, I still occasionally get server nightmares) at various places. One time I had a young man and two teenaged girls come in and ordered apps, main courses (the guy ordered two!), and dessert. Their bill was over $100 and he left me $2! I actually went out after them in the parking lot to tell them that an appropriate tip was $20, and let them know that servers only make a few dollars an hour and we rely on our tips. The girls were so rude and said I should get another job then. The guy ended up giving me $10 more and said that was all he had on him.

    Another time, I had two teenage girls come in for dinner. They left me less than $2 and again I went out in the parking lot as they were walking to their car and just yelled, “Leave a tip next time”. She turned around and started yelling things at me and actually came back in the restaurant and was yelling at me to be a better server, and blah blah. After she left, I went out back and hid in the supply shed and cried. Everyone was looking for me, I could hear them calling my name when they looked outside. My manager found me and calmed me down, and a friend took over my tables while I was gone (no more than 10 minutes). Luckily it wasn’t too long after that I was able to get a job in a different field.

    That being said, I am more critical and expect high quality service. But I usually tip 20% low, 25% high. Unless that person is really awful, then it could be as bad as 10%. I don’t have any suggestions about any of the other services because I only get my hair cut once every two years, and I bag my own food (at Trader Joes!)

    Reply
  29. Kristen Lea 27 March 2012 at 9:23 pm

    I remember working at an ice cream shop down the street from me that had a tip jar. Some people generously put their change in the jar and maybe a dollar if we were lucky. On hot summer days, that money would add up as everyone came in for a frozen treat. At the end of the shift, the money was split between the employees. There were days that I would come home with an extra $5, but rarely more than that.
    While working as a barista at Common Grounds at Olivet, I wished to have a tip jar. Most of my shifts I worked alone, and at minimum wage. Some nights the line was out the door, and I could only use the materials available at the time. This may have made some customers upset when I ran out of milk, smoothie flavors, or whipped cream. I could have paid off my Freshman year with tips if the head of food service would allow them.
    That is all my personal tipping experience.

    Reply
  30. Zoe 28 March 2012 at 7:23 am

    I’m the one who commented on the first post about my grocery baggers working for tips only… and yes, it is a military base commissary. I guess this is another peculiarity of military life! :) It is kind of odd – there is no option to bag your own, and there are big signs reminding you that tips are expected.

    I have never even thought to tip at Sonic! And now I feel bad. It is interesting that some services are tipped and others are not. Can you imagine how funny it would be to tip your dental hygenist, or the UPS man? Or am I clueless and I should be doing this?? :)

    Reply
    • Alexandra 28 March 2012 at 7:45 pm

      I live in NYC and my grocery store has baggers with little tip containers. It makes me feel totally guilty because I live alone (read: I survive like a savage on snacks and non-meals) and I also get my produce at a farmer’s market and my meat at a butcher – so I tend to buy groceries at the actual grocery store in minute quantities (toilet paper and Fage; Cheez-Its and Fage; milk and Fage; olive oil and Fage) and I really dislike tipping someone to basically put two items in one plastic bag. As we all know from my previous comments, I don’t want to give up my laundry quarters, and heaven forgive me but I certainly don’t want to tip bills for a fairly…minor service, so that means I need to have dimes and nickels on hand for the baggers. Anyone who knows me would assume I have these on me at all times, as loose change is constantly rattling around in my pockets; but really all the coins just fall out each evening when I take my work pants off, so the change is all spread all over my bedroom floor and is thus never accessible when I’m at the grocery store watching an old man put my toilet paper in a plastic bag. I skate to bed each night on all the dimes I didn’t give to the bagger, like Scrooge McDuck swimming in his gold coins. It’s awful.

      Sometimes I choose a lane with no visible bagger, and try to bag my own stuff. But some poor old man invariably rushes over and starts bagging for me while I’m still paying. Who knew they could move so fast?

      Reply
  31. Marcella 28 March 2012 at 10:04 am

    I never tip on take-out. Sorry but I am not leaving 15 – 20% when I have to do all the dishes/clean-up.
    I tried to tip my garbage men one year by leaving an envelope taped to the lid of the garbage can. They never took it. I tip $5 – $8 on my $35 haircut…usually split between the hairdresser & shampoo girl. When my kids go for their $12 haircut I tip $4 or $5 to the same hairdresser. When my oldest gets her $22 haircut, again $5 for the cut & $2 or $3 for the shampoo girl. I know they both get paid but also rely on tips to make it work.
    In NJ chair rentals are illegal so they are paid by the owner plus tips. The first massage I had I did not know you were supposed to tip…OOPS! I tend go lower with spa services b/c they are so much more expensive by the hour. I like to leave a dunkin donuts card sometimes at Christmas for my UPS driver (so many amazon packages!) and my mail carrier but never cash. I never have pizza delivered (too impatient & cheap to pay delivery fee) but when I pick up I do not tip! Nail Salon I tip but can get frustrating when multiple people help you…how many people can you tip on a mani/pedi! I once had 4 different people help me! Anyway…that’s my 2 cents for what it is worth

    Reply
  32. Annette Merki 28 March 2012 at 11:50 am

    Sweet Rae,
    Uncle Dave and I have been at restaurants when the waitress has chased us out the door to say that a mistake must have been made. Uncle Dave has left a $50., or a $100 tip. He likes to surprise them once in a while. Almost always it has been someone that has really needed it. This gives him great pleasure.

    Reply
  33. Ashley 2 April 2012 at 12:13 pm

    I am a barista and I will say that while we really appreciate the tips we certainly do not expect them. We start our “team members” out at minimum wage so the extra dollar or two an hour really helps.

    Reply
  34. Kerrie 9 April 2012 at 4:52 am

    Am so thankful to live in a country (Australia) where legislation decrees a decent minimum wage is paid for services rendered and employees do not have to rely on tipping to make the difference in just getting by and doing okay.

    Tipping is not performed routinely however for service that goes above & beyond the ordinary, mainly in restaurants, hotels etc, I tip around 15-20%. As far as hairstyling, garbage collection, mail delivery etc. it is up to the particular person as to whether they leave a Christmas bonus or small gift. Generally we do for our mail/parcel delivery person (since my partner is a prolific online shopper) and in restaurants where service is exemplary but never in takeaway or for home delivery, it’s just not expected.

    Reply
  35. Mel 17 May 2012 at 5:16 pm

    I’d like to know if other people tip the person who pumps your gas at a full serve place? I rarely go to one, because there aren’t that many in NY and I always wonder if I need to give a tip so I just avoid it. I have given a tip if it was in the middle of winter, because I really appreciated not having to get out of my car and get cold.

    Reply

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